Bullying and Community

Today I cover something a little less business-sided and a bit more culturally important to the community of gaming overall.

The head designer of Magic: The Gathering Mark Rosewater replied to a question on his blog that was of a more personal than professional nature: "Do you find on your end you hear much regarding the issues of non-male treatment in Magic? Do you feel it's improving?" His response was very inspirational.

Questions of treatment of women in gaming has always been a tricky subject. The fact that women make up 50% of the gaming market means something has to change though. I know plenty of women enter a game store to stares and slack jawed faces and immediately feel out of place. Or they are just browsing for something new when someone in a game across the room tells a party member they just "ran away like a woman." How is that supposed to make her feel like a member of the community when her mere presence is slighted immediately by the "popular opinion" of nerds trying to sound like "big men"?

I think treatment of others isn't limited to just women either, but rather the way the community treat other people. It's not uncommon to hear in video games as well as game stores the cries of slurs like "faggot" or "retard" or "pussy." Even if these phrases are said in jest or as curses; it's not good enough. There's always the possibility of someone in the room who is transgendered, homosexual, mentally challenged or simply a part of an underrepresented group. If you're fighting magical dragons, building far off civilizations on tiles and living in an imaginary world; I'm pretty sure it isn't a stretch to think up a better interjection than a racial or sexual slur. All it does is bring down the overall intelligence of the community you're playing in to let anger destroy the integrity of the game store you play at.

Bullying comes in a wide array of forms and it isn't just in the traditional "jocks vs. nerds" format, but nerd on nerd bullying can come in the form of ignorance or excuses of it being just a joke. When you call your dice "Faggot dice" for not rolling what you want to roll, you continue to both make it okay to use homosexuality as an insult and are under the impression that because you're calling your dice that; it's okay. You're not calling anyone in the room a faggot, right? That makes it okay. Nevermind the fact that someone in the room may take offense to your screams of insults and can't tell you to shut up because it's "just your dice." It's a double-edged sword to call out your friends or people across the table for fear of accusing them of anything. Traditionally gamers are looked at as outcasts and they come to a game store to find community; so to call someone out is to become the accuser and that is a faux pas of extreme variety in a room full of people seeking common ground.

Being mindful of your phrasing and being ready to buoy up your community of fellow gamers is what is important.

Remembering that not everyone is as loud and ready to shout out their opinions like you are is important.

Remember the person across the table from you is a person with their own story and if you want to be remembered as a hero in their story, then don't become a villain by ignorance.